Neither man nor woman is perfect or complete without the other. Thus, no marriage or family, no ward or stake is likely to reach its full potential until husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, men and women work together in unity of purpose, respecting and relying upon each other’s strengths. – Sheri L. Dew
I’ve come to discover in many homes that mothers shares quite a lot of information and give a lot of advice to their daughters when it comes to marriages but have often times, either forget or overlook the importance of giving same advice to their sons. They believe that the male folks have less challenges compared to the female folks. In fact, the relationship a son build with his mother and how he relate with his mother usually finds expression in the way he relates with and treats other women, most especially, his wife. As mothers, the strength of our relationship with our sons goes a long way to define their relationship with their wife. Treat your son like a King and he’ll treat his wife like a Queen. It is therefore of necessity that mothers chat with their sons and relay to them useful advice on best home practices on marriage. Below are a few tips you must teach your sons before they venture into that blessed union called “Marriage”.
1. COMPARISON | “Don’t compare your wife with me!”
A mother must define for her son the dividing lines when it comes to decisions that concerns them and their son’s wife. She must make sure that her son never engage in any form of comparison between his wife and her. Whether it comes to cooking or managing the household, most men end up comparing their partners to their mother (knowingly or unknowingly). It is wrong! The Wife and the mother are two different entities. They all have their unique peculiarities. Your sons must come to understand that mother have lots of experience of being a wife (and mother) and in relation, their life partner (wife) is just as new to marriage as you are. By reason of experience difference, your mother’s culinary skills, budget management, waking up on time, or anything that she does better can not be compares with that of your wife. So never you compare her to your wife. Your wife is just as awesome in her own way (isn’t that the reason you both are together?), and some day she also will be such a wonderful Mum to your child.
2. RESPECT | “Respect your life partner!”
Yes, your parents will always be important for you and even for your beautiful wife. Your wife is the one who will be standing by your side and facing all the breeze and storms of life with you always. So, she needs to be treated as an equal. Share with her everything, take her advice in every decision, and give importance to her opinions. Make her your priority. She will never be able to or try to undermine your mother’s position in your life. But, she too deserves your respect. Once you truly see your wife as your ‘better half’ and ‘life partner’, you will be living the happiest.
3. COMPLEMENT | “Help your wife at every step!”
Guys! Your wife is not your mummy! it is time to grow up, become responsible, and do some work on yourself. Don’t complain when you don’t get from your wife the kind of love that mummy gives you. On the other hand, you have the responsibility to be a companion to your wife, and so you both have to take care of each other. Help her out, divide work, and no matter what, take care of your own things. Your wife has kissed goodbye to her family and home for you. So, now it is your turn to make her feel as comfortable as possible and feel like a woman in the new home. Her life has turned upside down, and even small things can make her uncomfortable and anxious. So, make sure you become her partner and guide in her new home. Also, make sure that she feels at ease to talk about her feelings. Make sure that you do small little things to make her adjustment to the new environment and lifestyle pleasant and easy.
4. LOVE | “Never stop loving your better half!”
As you and your wife advances in age, not even forty (40) years later when her hair will not be shiny black or stylish as it use to be and her face will not have that natural pink blush. Love her unconditionally! Accept her for who she is because that is the reason you chose her to be your beloved wife. Keep surprising her, make her laugh, sweep her off her feet, and keep the relationship forever new and young. Tell her how much you love her even when her hair is all messy when she wakes up in the morning, and other times when she feels that she looks like a mess.
Mothers! please share your ‘happy and healthy marriage’ secrets with him, because he also needs them as much as your daughters or daughters-in-law do. Mothers understand that marriages are a lot about compromise and adjustments for both the sides. So, there is no one better who can give these lessons to the husbands (your sons) than you.