There are many reasons why it is important for young married couples to leave home physically and emotionally. One of these reasons which is the most important is to give them the opportunity from the very beginning of their marriage to cultivate companionship with each other. Companionship is the basis for all successful marriage. The relationship between a child/parent is established by birth or adoption, but the relationship between a husband/wife is established and bonded by covenant, and there’s a difference. Because marriage is a covenant, it supersedes blood ties. Blood may be thicker than water but is not thicker nor stronger than promise. In marriage, your spouse is more important than any other person. You should give deference to each other ahead of parents, siblings or any other ties of blood or family. The opinions, desires or demands of family members should no longer hold sway. Spouses must take time to be alone together, to know each other not only as spouses and lovers but also as friends and lifelong companions and also give each other first place in their hearts.
Companionship in marriage is more important than circumstances of blood or birth. Much like any other worthwhile endeavour, building companionship requires patience, time and hard work. Companionship must be cultivated and nurtured with the same degree of care. One problem that troubles many marriages is the well-intentioned but inappropriate interference of family members into the daily affairs of the couple’s life. After getting married, the only thing a couple should receive from their parents is advice and counsel, and that’s when they ask for it. Parents should not offer opinions or advise without being asked. Because doing so undermines the development of the leadership and self-determination of the couple. After marriage, the leadership and decision-making
In many cultures, it is customary to think of marriage as joining two families to one. The husband represents his family of origin, the wife represents hers and together all their relatives become one big happy family. As common as this mentality may be in many places, it is incorrect. Because marriage does not combine two families into one, but rather creates a third family. When a husband and wife come together, they form a distinct, separate, complete and individual family unit that is independent of their respective families of origin. In other words, when a man and a woman come together in wedlock from two separate families they form a third family separate from the other two families. The family really emphasizes on the man because he will be the head of the new family and decision-making unit established by this marriage. A quick way to conflict in marriage is when a husband has to compete with his wife’s parents for priority of relationship. The same is true for a wife whose husband has trouble cutting ties. Therefore, leaving home is a fundamental principle of marriage. Although the main thought is that of leaving home, there is more to the idea than just physical departure.
After marriage, the man and his wife leave their families of origin not just physically, but also mentally, financially and emotionally. This does not mean they must sever all future connections with their families, but that their families should not play any significant role in decisions they make as a couple in their home. Leaving in marriage means a married couple is neither burdened by nor a burden to their parents. The word leave implies that the family of origin may or may not want them to go. Many parents struggle with this very thing, finding it very hard to let go of their children and live their own lives as independent adults. Many young people don’t leave home till they get their parents’ consent. Although it’s not a requirement, there’s not absolutely nothing wrong with it because leaving home with your parents’ blessings is always a nice feeling, but it’s also okay to leave without it.
If you want an essential ability to help you become more resilent, work on your habit of genuinely listening to other people. Below are six (6) situations where active listening is a particularly smart way to go:
- When you’re a Leader
Listening is a core competency of leadership. To grow as a leader, you practice the discipline of letting other talk before you do. When your team member speaks, show that you’re listening by nodding or restarting the speaker’s point. Also find ways to let them know that you care about what they think even though you may not always agree.
- When you’re in the middle
You know it would be a mistake to take sides between two warring parties but it can be a challenge to take sides but it can be a challenge to participate in meetings without seeming to align with one faction or another. The best way is to consistently present yourself as an open minded listener and also let everybody know that you’re always willing to be fair and hear what others wants to communicate.
- When starting something new
If you’re joining a different team or meeting new people, often make a better approach and demonstrate your strength by asking questions and paying close attentions to the answers.
- When you’re trying to make your case
When in a debate mode, during a meeting, try ignoring others comment and obsess about the point they want to get across because it’s more effective to understand other’s goals and concerns so well that we can frame our suggestions with a minimum conflict. Collaboration is a vital career skill and it starts with appreciating the view point of others.
- When they’re hard to get along with
When you start thinking of people as difficult, you may really stop hearing them because as they speak, you feel defensive and start working on your rebuttals. At some levels, when ignoring them, their obnoxious behavior gets worse. You can often defuse a tense situation by putting aside your resistance and concentrating on what is being said.
- When you want to look confident
When people feel insecure, they may chatter about nothing, brag too much, or insist their opinions are correct despite the weight of the evidence. Genuine confident people are never afraid to stay quiet and that is because they already know what they think and now want to know what you think. To be self assured, look for opportunities to shine the spotlight on others. You can ask questions and be respectful of the answers.
Listening is a powerful strategy. It can help anyone understand what’s happening, show that you care and contribute to the growth of a supportive community.
Some of your most valuable meetings are are the ones you are incharge. And if you are a leader, you have an opportunity to make a better use of your time and others by tweaking the routine. Below are nine basic rules for running an effective meeting.
- Have an effective Invitation process
For successful meetings, you might have to be assertive about sending invitations and reminding participants of the details. Even if it’s a regular meeting and every participant know the drill, place, date and time of the meeting, you should routinely send at least a least minute reminder either via email or text messaging.
- Know the purpose
Before you send out invitations, declare about your goals for calling the meeting. Be flexible about cancelling a meeting when no business is pressing or no work to be accomplished because, holding a pointless meeting may have a tough time attracting participants when you really need it.
- Create an Agenda
A written list of discussion items helps to shape participant’s expectation and keep the meeting on target. It’s true even when the gathering consist of just two or three members talking through their issues over coffee. It’s always proper to ask for attendees for discussion items and distribute the agenda of the meeting in advance.
- Set the Tone
You must treat all participants with courtesy, give speakers your full attention and don’t work on other projects during the meeting. If you have an trouble staying focus, try taking note of the discussion and always show respect for attendees by making sure you meetings always start and end on schedule.
- Keep Track
Every meeting should have someone designated to keep the record, at least of key conclusion and assignments. These may be as simple as your rough notes – the ones that you use when you summarize the meeting in your closing remarks.
- Warm it Up!
There is always a legitimate social component to many meetings and you may make progress if all the participants feel engaged and comfortable about offering comments. You may address some social needs and establish a cordial mode for the event by devoting the first five or ten minutes to warm up face in which everyone is invited to offer information, suggestions or concerns.
- Build a Structure
Even informal meeting should feel intentional. Because as leader, plan to include in each meeting: an opening; in which you may state the desired outcome. A middle in which agenda items are discussed with each one being move forward with at least a baby step. A closing that should sum up the conclusions, action items and assignments and perhaps mention next step of future events and finally, a closing remarks to thank attendees for attendance and contributions.
- Establish ground rules
Regular meetings will flow more smoothly if everybody understands the etiquette. You must the rules to build the consensus in matters such as: attendance, arrival time, participation discussions, use of cell phones and other devices, and confidentiality.
- Follow up
After every meeting, ensure that both the participants and invitees who were absent are not sent a copy of the note. Consider touching base with participants which left with assignments, checking if they have everything they need and are moving forward on their task. Because, if nothing seems to come off your meetings, people will lose interest and stop coming for your meetings.
I’ve been able to discuss the 10 foundation stones for a happy marriage which are: Love, Truth, Trust, Commitment, Respect, Submission, Knowledge, Faithfulness, Patience and Financial stability. In addition to these foundation stones, there are several ‘marriage ability’ traits we should consider; these traits are quality of personality and character that enhances the building of a STRONG marriage; they are:
By empathy, I mean the sensitivity to the needs, desires, and hurts of other people. That is, the ability to feel with them and experience the world from their perspective. Lots of conflicts that occur between spouses could be avoided if they have empathy for each other and walk in each other’s shoe for a while.
- Emotional stability
This is the ability to control one’s emotion. It is the bridling of one’s temper and not making excuses for immature emotional outburst. Occasional loss of control is human but a pattern of it reviews a deeper problem. Emotional stability means being willing and able to accept responsibility for our feelings, words and actions.
True communication is not easy and it happens rarely. Communication is the ability to ensure that people not only understand what you say, but also what you mean. It’s also the ability to listen to and understand others. Ability to communicate takes a lot of time, patience and hard work.
- Ability to Love and be loved
It is not as easy as it sounds particularly for men. Loving and being loved, comes more naturally for women. Men on the other hand have been thought in the society that being manly entails protecting their sensitive side in public. As a result, this has made many men have troubles expressing their feelings. Marriage is a constant give and take and this includes expressing of love.
Is the ability to adapt to changing conditions. No matter how carefully you prepare for marriage you cannot predict everything. Unexpected situation will pop up with annoying frequencies that forces us to change our plan. Be adaptable. Consider it as an opportunity to grow in a direction that you may never have thought of otherwise.
- Similar Family background
Although this not a highly critical facror, people of distinctly different background build successful marriage and similarly family background is also helpful. A couple should enter marriage with all the advantqge that they can and similarity of family background is definitely a ‘plus’.
- Ability to work through problems
Don’t get it twisted; this is not the same as solving problems. Some problems cannot be solved but married couples need to identify and analyze problems, propose a possible solution and work through them. The important thing is being committed to dealing with problems and not walking away from them.
- Similarity between couples
Marriage involves the union of two totally different people but there should be some distinct similarities as well like common interest, hobbies, faith, political view (where possible), etc. there need to be a common meeting ground between the two.
As important as foundation stones are, they are incomplete. They merely form the base upon which the completed structure must be built. Rather they are bases upon which we can build our marriages – a fusion of two distinct persons into one soul, one flesh and one spirit. Success and happiness are no accident but are direct results of deliberate planning, diligent pursuit and patient growth.
You realise many times in social groups such as: Whatsapp, Facebook and the likes, the varied behavioural displays among its members. This behavioural differences is brought about the varied cultural, environmental and child upbringing of its members. Social groups is the interaction between members of a group with one another, sharing similar characteristics, and collectively have a sense of unity. It takes tolerance and unitedness for such groups to co-habit with one another. Etiquettes that must be observed in any group are:
- Always learn to appreciate other people’s posts, even if they are not your friend; It makes them feel important and encouraged to come up with something more positive.
- Never run people down on the platform in a group chat; You will cause them to withdraw and will never come up with their objective views on issues.
- When you see something you don’t like from a member, inbox the person; Don’t attack him/her on the platform publicly
- Never insult or use unpleasant languages on members; You expose your uncultured manners and attitude to people and may turn the platform to combat ground.
- Be quick to say sorry and apologize when u have erred; It helps to bring down the tension which your utterances must have created.
- Don’t try to enforce your ideas or suggestions on members; Nobody has monopoly of knowledge, allow majority conclusions to prevail on issues.
- Never settle scores with anybody on a general group chat. It will give others the opportunity to take sides, thereby causing others to withdraw.
- When anyone is celebrating, he/she may not need to be your friend before you celebrate with that person; It’s the spirit of brotherliness
- Some have the gift of talking and others the gift of reading;
Learn to contribute to the group even if it is just using the symbol. It makes people know that you appreciate the group.
There are 3 types of posts you will always find on a group chat;
- Offensive posts: Don’t attack the person, it could be a mistake.
- lnspirational/Educative posts: Commend the person… Don’t just read and keep quiet.
- Meaningless/wrongly uninformed posts: Start by appreciating the writer, then correct the information, but don’t hush him up with condemnation.
Be kindly affectionate to one another!
As you enter the jungle, you come across various kinds of animal with unique peculiarities. You discover that:
1. The Elephant is the biggest
2. The Giraffe is the tallest
3. The Fox is the wisest
4. The Cheetah is the fastest
… among others.
Yet, amidst all these, the Lion is still referrer to as KING of the jungle even without ANY of these qualities.
You then ask, how possible is that?Why?
The Lion is termed the King of the Jungle because:
The Lion is courageous, is bold, walks with confidence, dares anything and is never afraid.
The Lion believes it is unstoppable.
3. Risk Taker
The Lion is a risk taker.
4. Self Sufficiency
The Lion believes any animal is food for him.
5. Dares Opportunities
The Lion believes any opportunity is worth giving a try and never lets it slip from its hands.
1. You don’t need to be the fastest.
2. You don’t need to be the wisest.
3. You don’t need to be the smartest.
4. You don’t need to be the most brilliant.
5. All you need is courage
6. All you need is the will to try
7. All you need is the faith to believe it is possible.
8. All you need is to believe in yourself, that you can do it!
Stay in Lion Mode!
That’s the mode for winners!
Lion Mode should guide you throughout!
Anything of a lasting nature is built on a firm and solid foundation and marriage is no different. Just as a house built on a poor foundation will be blown in a storm, so a marriage is unlikely to survive the tempest of life unless it’s firmly established on a bedrock of moral principles. Ten (10) foundation stones upon which to build a happy and successful marriage are:
Love in a marriage is more than just feelings and emotion; it is a choice and a decision you make and renew everyday with regards to your spouse. Whenever you rise up in the morning or lye down at night or go through the affairs of the day, you chosen continually to love that man or that woman you married. Understanding that love is a choice will keep you out of trouble when temptation comes. Knowing you have made a decision to love your husband or your wife will carry you through those times when he or she made you angry or when you see that handsome or attractive coworker in the office. So, a renewed daily sacrificial love is a requirement for a happy marriage.
Nothing damages a marriage more than broken trust. It is hard to grow and prosper in an atmosphere of bitterness, resentment and suspicion. Trust enables a husband and wife to enjoy a relationship characterized by openness and transparency, with no secrets kept off limit to each other. Both partners must take great care to ensure that they do not say or do anything to give each other any reason to doubt or distrust them. Trist is an essential element of commitment.
Commitment is a frightening word to many people in our society today. They’re afraid of being tied down to any kind of long term arrangement. This is one major reason why marriage don’t last. Commitment is a life lord of marriage. Marriage is a ‘blood covenant’ and it lasts a lifetime.
Any healthy relationship or marriage must be built on mutual respect. Respect is well expressed in the way we esteem the other partner, considering him or her worthy high regard. Wives should respect their husbands and husbands should respect their wives. Many men grow up to regard women as little more than sex objects to be possessed and used at will; and never learning any difference, they carry the same ignorant view point into marriage. Whoever desires respect must show respect to others and live in a manner worthy of respect.
It would be almost impossible to over emphasize the importance of knowledge as a firm foundation for marriage. Many marriages fail because of lack of knowledge. Couples enter married life with no clue as to what marriage is all about. They carry unrealistic and unreasonable expectation of themselves, their spouses and their relationship as whole. With all the resources that are currently available and because so much is at stake, there is no excuse today for marital ignorance or illiteracy.
Healthy marriages are not only built on mutual respect but also on mutual submission. We often hear that wives are supposed to commit to their husbands that we forget that submission goes both ways. Submission is the willingness to give up our right to our self, to freely surrender our insistence on having our own way all the time. Submission also means putting the needs, rights and welfare of another person ahead of our own. A marriage built on this kind of submission will grow healthy, strong and fulfilling.
Faithfulness is closely related to commitment and also has a lot to do with trust. Most time when we speak of faithfulness, we most often have sexual relation in mind. Faithful partners will be true, reserving sexual expressions exclusively for each other. Marital fidelity means that your spouse health, happiness, security, and welfare take a higher place in your life than anything else. Marital faithfulness involves more than just sexual fidelity. Being faithful to your wife entails defending her and affirming her beauty, intelligence and integrity all the time particularly before other people.
This is another essential foundation stone for building a successful and happy marriage. It brings about two totally different people with different experiences, backgrounds, temperaments, and cultures. These differences make partners make major adjustments in their lives and attitudes if their marriage is to succeed. The critical key in dealing with conflict and adjusting to differences is patience.
Truth is fundamental in marriage. A marriage not based on truth is heading for trouble. Truthfulness between every husband and wife is an indispensable part of a successful marriage. Honesty, tempered and seasoned with love fosters an environment of trust.
- Financial stability
This is one of the most overlooked foundational stones of marriage. Many young couples planning to marry sometimes give little thoughts to the importance of having a well established financial base. Love is certainly important even critical but let’s be practical; love won’t pay the bills or put food on the table. Adjusting to married life is difficult and challenging on its own. Financial difficulty is one of the main causes of marital failure.
There is no single solution to the problem of workplace stress. At times you can address some of the underlined issues. Many factors contributing to a stressful environment; even when you can’t do much to change your situation, you can change your reaction to some of those stressors. You can start feeling better quickly by using one or the many techniques shown below to be effective in addressing the symptoms of stress.
Regular walking or aerobic exercise can significantly reduce the physical symptoms of stress and improve your mode. Repetitive or rhythmic exercise such as jogging or dancing can be very effective.
It can be healthy to focus on something different and stimulate the creative part of your brain. Painting, playing a musical instrument, knitting or even working in the garden can stimulate the creative part of your brain.
- Look at the big picture
An immediate problem can lose its impact when you place it in perspective. One way this can be done is to make a list in your diary about the things that matter most in your life and ask yourself: how does this problem affects my list of ‘big picture’ goals?
- Connection with nature
Being aware of nature through something as simple as looking at the garden, can reduce your stress. For some people regular lunchtime walk in a park can make a big difference.
- Talking to somebody
The sense of isolation that hits some over worked professionals do sometimes magnify the impact of other stressors. So, find ways to have meaningful conversation more frequently, listen to other people and try to connect with them in casual ways all through your day.
Recent studies show that meditation cannot only make you feel more peaceful and physically relaxed but it also promotes cognitive changes that enhances your performance and brings about a feeling of contentment.
- Help other people
Kelly McGonigal suggests that people who reach out other people reduces their own stress level and build resilience. Your caring for others is associated with a release of the hormone oxytocin which helps to reduce stress induced damage.
- Writing about it
Keeping a journal is a great way to develop insight, change your perspective and cope with tension. Try writing about your stressors, describing precisely how they make you feel. Also write about the good parts of your situation, and things that make you feel grateful.
People get married for lots of reasons, some good and others not so good. Many marriages today fail because the couple does not understand either the purpose or the principles of a successful marriage. A successful marriage has little to do with love. In fact, love does not guarantee success in marriage. Love is very important for happiness in marriage but not by itself because it cannot make a marriage work. Success in marriage depends on how much we know about something and not how we feel about it. Knowledge is very critical to marital success; therefore it is important first of all to recognize some of the most common unhealthy reasons people use in choosing to get married. Below are ten (10) unhealthy reasons why people choose to get married.
- To spite their parents.
Do you know that some people get married in other to get back at their parents? They sometimes resent their parents rule or chafe by their parent’s discipline. They get angry over their parents disapproval of friends, especially that special boyfriend or girlfriend. That anger or resentment drives them to do something foolish, like getting married without thinking it through. Even though they may know nothing about marriage, they jump at the chance because they see it as a quick way to get out from their parents restrictions. Marrying to spite one’s parent is a crazy reason to get married. A person who marries out of spite, sees his or her spouse not as a lover but as a means of escape from dominating parents.
- To escape an unhappy home.
We’ve seen people who grew up in poor, unhappy and difficult homes and all they thought of and wished to do was escape; home life may be a constant litany of anger, shouting, cursing and quarrelling. Whatever the reason, using marriage as a way out for getting out of home is extremely unwise and foolish. People who marry in order to escape rarely find what they’re looking for.
- Fear of being left out
This fear affects both men and women, but tends to hit women harder than men, particularly as they get older. A woman’s sense of worth is linked to marriage, home and family more so than is a man’s. Women get worried if they reach the age of 30 and are still yet unmarried; this causes panic! This mindset makes some women grab the first guy who comes along and show any interest in her. Even when he is only taking advantage of her, she convinces herself that he loves her and that she loves him. Men also make the same mistake; the fear of the thought of being a bachelor all their lives make them marry women who are not right for them. When an individual marries out of fear, they either get their marriage broken up or they “grin and bear it”, too embarrassed to admit to the world.
- Because of Having Sex
What many fails to understand is, sex does not equate to marriage. Sex alone does not make or break a marriage. Sex is only appropriate within the bound of marriage. It enhances and enriches a marriage with a proper foundation. Outside of marriage, sex is inappropriate and psychologically damaging, emotionally dangerous and sinful. Sexual abstinence is the only appropriate behavior for unmarried people.
- To be a counselor for other people.
Yes! It sounds crazy, but this is why some people get married they feel a sense of responsibility for someone who needs the benefit of their wisdom, counsel and advice. Be careful men! Don’t get carried away because a young lady comes to you for counsel; it doesn’t mean you should marry her. And ladies! Just because a young man may seek out your advice, doesn’t necessarily mean he should become your husband. In other words, marriage is not a proper forum for therapy.
It is not uncommon at all for people in long time therapy to develop romantic feelings to their therapist. Insecure people are mostly drawn easily to those they regard as authority; therefore, professional counselors have to watch out for this kind of things all the time. If you marry someone who is always looking to you as a counselor, you will never get any rest and they will drain you emotionally. Don’t get caught in this trap because no one who needs counselling is ready for marriage.
- A Negative Self-image
Many people get married with the hope it will make them feel worthwhile and give meaning to their life. Their self-image is so low that they constantly need someone to affirm their worth and tell them that they’re alright. A spouse who enters marriage with this negative self-image comes into that as only half a person and if both people have self-image problem they’re really in for a very rough time. A healthy marriage brings two holes together and not two halves. Two people who come together and are confident of their own self-worth and also comfortable in their personal identities can build a happy, successful and meaningful marriage.
- Marrying on the Rebound
You’ll notice or realize that people who have been hurt in a former relationship or marriage often feel discouraged and depressed. Their low self-esteem makes them quick to jump headlong into a new relationship with the first person they come across, who show them sympathy or concern. By this, they hope not only to ease their hurt but prove to themselves that theirs nothing wrong with them. You don’t have to get married to prove that you’re alright; there are other ways to do that. It gets back self-image issue. A problem with marrying on the rebound is that its not a marriage of love, but of convenience. In reality however, no love is involved marrying on the rebound. It is only a marriage of convenience and a ‘quick and easy’ way out of your dilemma.
It is official! World famous singer, Beyoncé Knowles, who is also widely referred to as Queen Bey, is now the proud owner of
a church. The San Francisco Catholic church which recently closed down is located in New Orleans and is reported to be 7,500 sq.ft has not
been in use for a while now because of its members’ deaths. The church building which dates back to over a 100 years old and is valued at
According to paranormaville, “The National Church of Bey“, recently formed the new religion called Beyism (based on pop star Beyoncé Knowles). The Department of Women’s and Gender Studies at Rutgers University is offering a course called “Politicizing Beyonce.” and Georgetown University has a class called “The Sociology of Hip-Hop: The Urban Theodicy of Jay-Z,” focusing on Beyonce’s rapper husband. Beyoncé is worshipped across the world so it makes sense that she would take ownership of a place of God.
“The National Church of Bey” have their own version of the Bible — the Beyble
According to Pulse.ng, The purchase follows a controversial Beyonce mass held at Grace Cathedral, a San Francisco church. Responding to the backlash, Rev. Jude Harmon, the Director of Innovative Ministries argued that the mass aligns with the Gospel.
Welcome to the Church of Beyonce. Finding God at a Beyonce Mass! See the Video below:
The church also goes on to say, “Donations have poured in and we will soon have enough to build a temple in honor of Mother Bey”.
Love they say, is beautiful. The whole world graced the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle days ago, whose memory will be remember for decades to come. But seven (7) things we learn from the royal wedding are:
1. Chance Happens.
The race of life is not to the swift and most beautiful. Of course, there were lots of beautiful women that came across Harry being that he came from a royal home, yet! he did not marry any one of them. Love found a way.
Time and chance still exists.
2. Favour erases.
On the day of your favour, your perceived disadvantages or limitations would be irrelevant. She was divorced and even a bi-racial American yet Favour cancelled every limitations.
May you be Favoured. Everything that can be excuses are erased by Favour
3. Class and Dignity
Class and Dignity is not by exposure. Did you see her wedding dress? It was one of the most commended and commented part of the wedding. She was totally covered. When you have class you don’t need to expose your body Royalty means Dignity.
4. Natural wins.
There were no make up and artificial do’s. Yet she was so stunning and beautiful. What God made of you is beautiful; never you water it down. If God felt you needed it, He would have given it to you. God ever able to provide our needs.
5. Past is past.
She was divorced yet she met her prince. If she had closed her life by focusing on her failures she wouldn’t have had an opening to this glorious and wonderful future she has now. Things happen! Mistakes arise! But learn lessons from the past and let go of any things that may want to deprive you achieving your set goal. In the long run, you will embrace that glorious future you’ve always dreamt of.
6. Friends matter.
She never knew the prince but they had mutual friends who recommended her to the prince. Two things. Can your friends recommend you sincerely to the king and boast that you are a great person and two what manner of friends are you keeping. May you keep great friends
7. Grace found Meghan.
Surely she emerged only because grace found her out.
May grace find you so that like the Sun the whole world would look at your rising.
This short article is strictly for grown-ups because the consequences of having teenagers read it can be grave. Before you contemplate marriage, below are some vital things that must be in place
- You must have grown to an age that you can think and plan independently.
- You must be able to make decisions and own up to your mistakes.
- You must be emotionally mature and also need to be able to guide, lead, comfort and help a woman.
- Mature people almost always make mature marriages.
- Besides you need some social and material preparation. For instance, you need your own accommodation, bed and other household items.
- Over and above all, there should be a steady supply of money that would keep the prospective family going.
The viability of marriage is usually an indication of the stability and maturity of married partners. Who are decided on building a prospective family.
We are all wonderful creatures of God, made in the likeness of God; Unique, Special and Different. In fact, some puts it this way:
“There’s a spark of divinity in every one of us.”
Women are one wonderful beings God ever made. They were made unique with varied peculiarities. A woman generally wants to be understood. When she is not understood (by her husband), she becomes uncomfortable and unhappy.
A woman begins to feels neglected and empty if her husband does not give her attention. She becomes demanding and critical when her need for love and affection is not met. This situation is ironical. The wife, in the right prospective, needs to be understanding than demanding. Women are taught to ‘be in subjection to their husbands’. Therefore, the love that must exist between husband and wife is far more than smiling and grinning; it includes:
1. Patience with your husband,
2. Sufficient Tolerance with his shortcomings,
3. Meeting his needs in every way possible and
4. Avoiding criticisms at home.
A good wife is known by her discrete relationship with her parents and in-laws. You should therefore stop dependence on your own parents and discountenance all criticism of your in-laws. Your husband may sometimes show resentment against your own parents but your attitude should be a meek and quiet one.
As much as possible, do not sputter domestic problems at your husband as soon he comes in; you should not tell him news which will upset him while he is just arriving home tired. Reserve every unpleasant news till he has had meal. Give praise and show appreciation for his effort hitherto before saying whatever you want to say. Be courteous, careful and compassionate when telling him what you have to say. As a wife, you need a radical change. If you really want to be loved, you must make yourself lovable. Learn the real meaning of love. Do not let a day go by without showing love to your husband. Rejoice, be patient and tolerate all his problems. DO NOT criticize, complain, condemn nor attempt to control him.
Life is literally composed of decision-making moments. There is always a cause to make a decision or cancel one. Everyone, from the toddler to the aged, makes decision. Sometimes, the decision borders on the kind of career you should pursue. At other times, it is the kind of accommodation you would like to take up, who to marry, what make of car to buy or the college/higher institution to attend. As a husband, you must have had cause to make decisions. It could be on the number of children you would like to have; whether to have your wife be a full-time housewife or get her gainfully employed on a job; whether you should have your parents live with you or keep them in the Old People’s Home; and whether to have a maid or steward. The point is that, you are always in the business of making decisions. We start making decisions early in life. Little children make decisions: they decide on what to do on certain occasions. At times, they run into difficulty and on such occasions, they go to their parents. They know their parents are wiser and their decisions are more dependable. Adults too are not left out. They also have the same difficulty. The tragedy is that very few adults are humble enough to concede their ignorance or difficulty. Few adults admit that they cannot make right decisions. It is however surprising to discover they act and make decisions like children. Which brings the question, how do children make decisions?
Little children go for whatever gives them temporary satisfaction, no matter how temporal the satisfaction may be. For instance, a child prefers to run into a hail just because the doors are temporarily closed but ultimately leads into the arms of angels. This is the common characteristic of children. It is not too different with adults. Many people follow the open door and just take decisions on temporal, transient promises. On some other occasions, it is the ‘majority carries the vote’ method. Some psychologists, interested in knowing how decisions are reached, conducted a survey covering many people from age 5 and above. Their scope covered how decisions in marriage, education, child upbringing and many other areas of life are made. The result was shocking. They discovered that with majority of people, the method by which decisions are made at 5years of age is the same way by which decisions are taken at either 12, 20, 30 or 50years of age. They realized that decisions made by adults, like those of children, are based on the following considerations:
- Do I have feelings of temporary satisfaction?
- Is there any door of circumstance open? If the answer is ‘Yes’, then I must forge ahead.
- What do others advise me to do? Majority carries the vote!
- If the object or project is attractive, I must have and keep it.
- If friends and peer group do it, I must do it NOW.
- I want to stem the fear of doing nothing, so I must do something.
- If sudden impulse and immediate action is required and present satisfaction is promised, it’s alright.
Once you start taking personal decisions, you use the same system throughout your life except something happens. This shows that one cannot make a right decision on his own without God’s guidance. Old people do not even know how to make right decisions sometimes.
Financial freedom is the desire of every family from anxieties, worry, debt and heartaches which all spring from lack of money. Below are delicate proven ways to family financial problems:
- DISCUSS IT: the husband and his wife must sit down to discuss financial matters together. Poor communication about family spending leads to financial foolishness. A discussion between a husband and wife should address
- Priorities in the family; things to spend money on and how to save.
- Pinpoint any areas where you have recently spent foolishly.
- Agree on some rules you will both follow for better family budgeting.
If you have never sat down with your partner to discuss the family budget, that may be why there are problems in financial matters in your family. You can begin today. If there is no money, you can sit down and talk about it.
- SELF-EDUCATION MONEY MANAGEMENT: you should study the principles of spending money. You need to know about BUDGETING. Budgeting, in its simplest form, is the analysis of needs before embarking on expenditure. So, the couple must do some analysis of family needs before spending. You need to also know about TAX RELIEF MEASURES. The government of each country has devised means and measures of relieving financially burdened families. You need to know how to fill the Tax Relief Form. It is your right and you should make the best use of it.
- AVOID DEBT LIKE A PLAGUE: when the sum total of what you owe is more than the sum total of what you have, you are in debt. Debts must be avoided. If you are in debt, you should sit down to plan how you will pay back. If the debt is so much that you cannot pay at a time, you can reach an agreement with the creditor to pay the money on monthly installments. Based on your income, self-denial and self-control, you could set aside a sum of money every month to defray part of the debt. In this way, you will settle all your debts. Having settled all your debts, begin to spend with prudence. Agree on a family priority list and stick to it. Make a comprehensive list of items that are needed at home. From the list, determine the most urgent and indispensable items. Use ‘list shopping’ to resist the impulse items. Target ‘sale seasons’. Avoid browsing in stores with large money in your wallet. Avoid borrowing heavily on depreciating and consumable items.
Every child is full of their selves. It is the responsibility of the mother and family to reform the child. Untold sorrow and grief always weigh down the heart of mothers who neglect their children to themselves. Some mistakes mothers make are
- When she satisfies every want of the child from infancy.
- When she avoids correcting the child from picking up bad words from friends or neighbors.
- When she protects the child from the father and teachers who may want to discipline the child sometimes.
- When she takes all decisions for the child so he/she won’t make mistakes.
- When she blames others for the child’s misdemeanor and always bailing him out of trouble and never let him suffer the consequences of his own mischief.
- When she criticizes his father or sibling outwardly so the child will have no respect for his/her older ones.
- When she indulges the child with food.
- When she gives the child too much for weekly allowance and excuses the child from gainful employment to earning money, this gives the child a false impression that he doesn’t need to work for a living.
- When she picks up everything the child drops carelessly around the house and never allow the child to shoulder responsibilities or bother the child with household chores.
- When she disallows the child from getting involved with other children in outdoor games so that he does not hurt himself.
- When she allows the child express him/herself the way he/she chooses to his/her older ones or neighbors.
- When she always adores the child looks and not the child’s character.
- When she becomes critical, snobbish, domineering and harsh with everybody around, she indirectly teaches the child.
- When she always gives in whenever the child throws a temper tantrum and becomes angry. This gives the child room to rule you by his temper, control and get what he wants by his cries.
- When she believes his lies and never bother to find out the truth on her own.
- When she fails to enforce household rules. Be sure that when the child grows up he/she will break the laws of the society without fear of consequences.
- When she always spares the rod and fail to discipline the child when he/she errs.
These are ways mothers fail unknowingly in child training and often result in grave consequences. Most times, mothers who leave their children to themselves often lose them.
It’s commonly said: “Love will always finds a Way!”
After months of speculations, the Whole World witnessed the highly-anticipated royal wedding between Prince Harry, 33, and his American 36-year-old fiancée, Meghan Markle, as they tied the knot last Saturday, the 19th day of May, 2018 at the St. George’s Chapel of Windsor Castle. The wedding, which could be termed the most viewed event in history was witnessed by as many as 100,000 Britishers and foreign visitors, apart from those watching around the globe.
Meghan, Duchess of Sussex is an American humanitarian, activist and a former actress was born and raised in Los Angeles, California. She has a degree in Theatre and International studies from Northwestern University.
Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex is the younger son of Charles,Prince of Wales, and Diana,Princess of Wales, and is sixth in the line of succession to the British throne. Prince Harry who had been in a relationship with Meghan since June 2016 finally got engaged on 27 November 2017.
Hours before the wedding, the Queen conferred on her son, Prince Harry the titles Duke of Sussex, Earl of Dumbarton, and Baron Kilkeel.
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle exchanged vows in front of 600 guests which comprises: the Queen, not less than 30 royals and famous faces such as Priyanka Chopra, Oprah Winfrey, Serena Williams, Idris Elba, George Clooney and Amal Clooney, Elton John, David and Victoria Beckham. Elton John sang at the funeral service for Harry’s mother, Princess Diana, performed at the lunchtime reception.
It was gathered that, an estimated 100,000 people turned out to see the couple as they sat in an open-top Ascot Landau for a carriage procession through Windsor. Following the royal wedding of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry, now the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, they will continue to live at Nottingham Cottage, the Kensington Palace.
Definitely, IF YOU LOOK BACK TOO MUCH, you’ll soon be heading that way. Mike Murdoch said, “stop looking at where you have been and start looking at where you can be”. Your destiny and call in life is always forward, never backward. Katherine Mansfield advised, “Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy. You can’t build on it, it’s only good for wallowing in”. You are more likely to make mistakes when you act only on past experiences. Rosy thoughts about the future can’t exist when your mind is full of the blues about the past. A farmer once said his mule was awfully backward about going forward; this is also true of many people today. Are you backward about going forward? Phillip Raskin said, “the man who wastes today lamenting yesterday will waste tomorrow lamenting today”. Squash the ‘good old days’ bug.
The past is always going to be the way it was. Stop trying to change it. Your future contains more happiness than any past you can remember. Believe that the best is yet to come. Carl Bard said, “though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending”. Also consider Oscar Wilde, “no man is rich enough to buy back his past”. Take note of what W.R. Ing said: “events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter”. The more you look back, the less you will get ahead. Thomas Jefferson was right when he said, “I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past”. Many a has-been lives on the reputation of his reputation. Hubert Humphrey mused, “the good old days were never that good; believe me. The good new days are today and better days are coming tomorrow. Our greatest songs are still unsung.” When you are depressed, you will find that it is because you are living in the past. What’s a sure sign of stagnation in your life? When you dwell on the past at the expense of the future, you stop growing and start dying. Laura palmer advised: “don’t waste today regretting yesterday instead of making a memory for tomorrow.” David McNally reminded, “your past cannot be changed, but you can change tomorrow by your actions today.” Never let yesterday use up too much of today. It’s true what Satchel Paige said: “don’t look back, something may be gaining on you.”
“Living in the past is a dull and lonely business; looking back strains the neck muscles, causing you to bump into people not going your way” says Edna Ferber. The first rule for happiness is to avoid lengthy thinking on the past. Nothing is as far away as one hour ago. Charles Kettering added, “you can’t have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time.” Therefore, always know that your past doesn’t equal your future.
Banana is one of the most widely consumed fruits on the planet. It is planted mainly in tropical and subtropical areas of Africa, Asia, America, the Canary Islands and Australia, and its scientific name is Musa acuminata. It grows in clusters, hanging from the top of the plant. It varies in size, colour, and firmness. It is usually long and curved with soft flesh rich in starch, and it is covered with a rind which may be green, yellow, red, purple, or brown when ripe. Banana is extremely nutritious, rich in potassium, magnesium, vitamins B6 and B9, tryptophan (a kind of essential amino acid found in the nervous system), norepinephrine (hormone found in the nervous system), choline (a basic compound that is found in various foods such as egg yolks and legumes etc., essential to liver function), riboflavin (a component of vitamin B that helps normal metabolism), niacin (found in vitamin B) and fiber. It is also high in sugar content, serves as snack, and is a rapid energy booster. It is equally high in antioxidant, which provides protection from free radicals (reactive atom in the body, capable of damaging cells, protein and DNA by altering their chemical structure), sunlight and the cream we apply on our skin.
The potassium in banana makes it very good for the heart. According to the United States Food and Drug Administration, banana’s high potassium protects the cardiovascular (of, relating to, or affecting the heart and blood vessels) system against high blood pressure. Its high-level content of tryptophan helps you to overcome depression, while the vitamin B6 and magnesium helps you sleep well and relax your muscles.
- Vitamin B6 also protects the body against type 2 diabetes and aids in weight loss.
- Helps in significant weight loss; If you are thinking of losing weight, then include banana in your diet, because it helps to curb food cravings.
- It also sustains blood sugar levels during exercise.
- Moreover, the small but significant amount of vitamin A in banana protects the eyes.
- Helps you to maintain normal vision and improves your vision at night, according to the United States National Institutes of Health.
- Vitamin A contains compounds that preserve the membranes round the eyes.
- It also prevents macular degeneration, an incurable condition which blurs central vision.
- A moderate consumption of banana protects you from having kidney cancer because of its high level of antioxidant phenolic compounds; in 2005, a Swedish study found that women eating 4 to 6 bananas a week halved their risk of developing kidney cancer.
Banana is available all year round, and the riper the banana, the more its nutrients. It can be eaten sliced or mashed. Even the peels are edible and packed with nutrients. However, you should carefully wash it before eating because of the pesticides applied to it when planting it. There are no side effects associated with eating banana in moderation. However, when eaten in excess, it can trigger headache and sleepiness. Also, because it is a sugary fruit, you must maintain a proper dental hygiene so as to avoid tooth decay from its consumption. The United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) recommends that adults eat two bananas every day.