I’ve been able to discuss the 10 foundation stones for a happy marriage which are: Love, Truth, Trust, Commitment, Respect, Submission, Knowledge, Faithfulness, Patience and Financial stability. In addition to these foundation stones, there are several ‘marriage ability’ traits we should consider; these traits are quality of personality and character that enhances the building of a STRONG marriage; they are:
By empathy, I mean the sensitivity to the needs, desires, and hurts of other people. That is, the ability to feel with them and experience the world from their perspective. Lots of conflicts that occur between spouses could be avoided if they have empathy for each other and walk in each other’s shoe for a while.
- Emotional stability
This is the ability to control one’s emotion. It is the bridling of one’s temper and not making excuses for immature emotional outburst. Occasional loss of control is human but a pattern of it reviews a deeper problem. Emotional stability means being willing and able to accept responsibility for our feelings, words and actions.
True communication is not easy and it happens rarely. Communication is the ability to ensure that people not only understand what you say, but also what you mean. It’s also the ability to listen to and understand others. Ability to communicate takes a lot of time, patience and hard work.
- Ability to Love and be loved
It is not as easy as it sounds particularly for men. Loving and being loved, comes more naturally for women. Men on the other hand have been thought in the society that being manly entails protecting their sensitive side in public. As a result, this has made many men have troubles expressing their feelings. Marriage is a constant give and take and this includes expressing of love.
Is the ability to adapt to changing conditions. No matter how carefully you prepare for marriage you cannot predict everything. Unexpected situation will pop up with annoying frequencies that forces us to change our plan. Be adaptable. Consider it as an opportunity to grow in a direction that you may never have thought of otherwise.
- Similar Family background
Although this not a highly critical facror, people of distinctly different background build successful marriage and similarly family background is also helpful. A couple should enter marriage with all the advantqge that they can and similarity of family background is definitely a ‘plus’.
- Ability to work through problems
Don’t get it twisted; this is not the same as solving problems. Some problems cannot be solved but married couples need to identify and analyze problems, propose a possible solution and work through them. The important thing is being committed to dealing with problems and not walking away from them.
- Similarity between couples
Marriage involves the union of two totally different people but there should be some distinct similarities as well like common interest, hobbies, faith, political view (where possible), etc. there need to be a common meeting ground between the two.
As important as foundation stones are, they are incomplete. They merely form the base upon which the completed structure must be built. Rather they are bases upon which we can build our marriages – a fusion of two distinct persons into one soul, one flesh and one spirit. Success and happiness are no accident but are direct results of deliberate planning, diligent pursuit and patient growth.